Jeffrey Dean Blog

Many emails I have been receiving as of lately seem to have a common theme, or should I say, question – “What is my purpose?”  Read these verses:

For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible…everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. – Colossians 1:16 (MSG)

But with your own eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything I would do. – Psalm 139:16 (CEV)

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; – Psalm 138:8 (NIV)

Each of these verses is proof that you have a purpose.  You are no accident.  The last verse, Psalm 138:8, proclaims that God will fulfill His purpose for you. You do have a purpose.  It’s a God-given purpose.  And God wants to help you fulfill it. But while you’re waiting for your “big purpose,” you also have a purpose that’s constant, from the moment you accept Christ until the day you go to live with Him in heaven—witnessing to others. I’ve said it again and again on stages all across America: Your greatest privilege—and your greatest responsibility—is to be God’s mirror in your world. This is a purpose you don’t have to wait for God to reveal to you.

I LOVE THIS VERSE: Everything was created through him; nothing—not one thing! —came into being without him.  What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by.  The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn’t put it out. – John 3:5 (MSG)

God planned all of creation before time on Earth began.  Before there was light, animals, food, mountains, oceans, or deserts, God had it all planned out in His heart. When He dreamed the idea of creation, you were a part of that dream. He dreamed you. So no matter how insecure you feel, no matter how unworthy you feel, no matter how afraid you feel, you can’t let that stop you from pursuing God’s purpose for you. When you’re asking and He’s not answering, you have to trust He will answer some day.  And until then you have to do all you can for Him.

I’m headed to a camp this Friday that I frequently speak at – Camp Berea in New Hampshire.  I am going to be speaking about this idea of purpose and how we are called to live-it out daily – to GO! – to hold nothing back as we shine like the stars in the heavens, as Philippians 2 talks about. As I will tell those teens at Camp Berea this weekend, I too want you to know – You can’t sit back and think, “When I lose 20 pounds, then I’ll feel better about myself and I’ll be able to talk to people about God.” Or, “I don’t know enough about the Bible yet to do anything for God. Once I know more, then I’ll do what He wants.” Or, “When I feel more significant, or popular, or smart, or __________ (fill in blank) then I will live for God.”

You’re who He made you to be RIGHT NOW, and He has things for you to do right now. Don’t let anything hold you back. Know that you are here for a most amazing purpose.  Don’t wait around until you have all the answers to embrace your purpose.  Your purpose is happening everyday, in every relationship, in every struggle, and in every facet of your life!  So move forward knowing that you have today – no guarantee of tomorrow – today…to live out your purpose.

After counseling with many of you this weekend at Springhill, I sensed frustration with some of you and the friendships you have.  I know it isn’t easy maintaining healthy relationships with your friends. And, finding and keeping healthy relationships that honor God isn’t always easy. Strong relationships require a strong commitment.

Your friends play a powerful role in your decision making. You can’t always control the choices your friends make or how they might choose to treat you.  But you can determine what kind of friend you will be to them.  We talked a lot on Sunday morning about what it means to be “love” to another.  Here are a few ideas on how you can find good friendships and make them last, be a good friend of love, and avoid becoming the “fool” your friends don’t want to be around:

BE TRUE BLUE

One sign of a true friend is loyalty.  Anyone can be a good friend when everything’s perfect. But it takes a person of integrity to be a trustworthy friend who sticks around even when times are tough. Being someone who’s faithful isn’t always easy. Loyalty to your friends means that you:

-   are willing to defend them,

-   are willing to overlook their faults,

-   are forgiving, and

-   aren’t going to talk about them behind their backs.

Check out this verse: A friend loves at all times. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)

BE HONEST

True friendship = honesty.  Sometimes, in order to be a good friend, you have to be willing to confront your friends about their unhealthy or un-Christianlike (is this a word?) behavior. Doing this can help them see their real selves by removing the mask that covers their true identity, their fears, or the ungodly lifestyle they may be embracing.  A true friend is honest, even when it hurts.

BE A STANDER

Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” A key word in this verse is the word if.  This word is proof that you can’t control the choices of your friends.  You can try and be a friend who encourages them to do the right things in life, but you can’t control their response. They may get angry with you. They may resent you. But encouraging them to follow Christ is one of those “if moments.” You’ve got to do it, even if it disturbs the peace.  Whether your friends choose to listen or not, you have to stand up for what’s right.  Be confident.  Be true to who you are, even when your friends don’t like it or don’t approve of it.  Be a friend that stands for what is good and right, even when others don’t.

BE YOU

Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Real friendships are based on trust, so you should never try to fake it with your friends. If you’ve chosen your friends wisely, they’ll like you as you are anyway. And they’ll be hurt if you’re not always honest about yourself with them.

BE A PUSHER

Remember we talked about this Saturday night – - Be a friend that pushes others toward a committed relationship with God.  Challenge them to spend time with Him reading the Bible and in prayer.  Encourage them to pursue God’s plan for their lives so they can also become the person God wants them to be.  Proverbs 27:17 (NIV), “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

BE GOD’S FRIEND

If you haven’t figured this one out yet, wake up!  Every thing we discussed this weekend always pointed back to God.  The best way to be a good friend to others is to learn from the One who wrote the book on friendships. Just like your earthly friendships, you can’t learn from God until you commit time to Him.  When it comes to being a good friend to others, your allegiance to God must come first.

Remember, life isn’t about acquiring as many friends as you can.  Proverbs 18:24 (NIV) says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Rather than competing to be everybody’s friend, be wise in choosing a few close friends who you can do life with.  Meaningful friendships don’t always come easy.  And there will be times when distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy friendships will be hard.  But as you commit to stay in consistent communication with God, He’ll give you wisdom to know the difference.

Here are a few questions for you to consider about your friendships:

Do my friends push me closer to or pull me away from God?

Do I have friendships with fools?  If so, what am I going to do about it?

What characteristics do I look for in a true friend?

My prayer for you is that you will ask God to bring you true friendships that honor Him and that He will grant you wisdom to choose good friends and courage to walk away from those who’ll separate you from Him.

If you have heard me speak before, then you probably have heard me mention Romans 12:2  – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you will discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.”

The simple of this verse is: Keep your mind spiritually sharp so that your mind doesn’t conform to the “time.” We live in a culture consumed by conformity of time.  We are notoriously unthoughtful and uncaring because we have so little time…or so we think.  We live busy, busy lives. And, I am convinced we miss many opportunities to be used by God in simple ways (that impact others in big ways) because we aren’t living in the renew.

To live in the renew means to look and listen for moments when God wants to show you something, speak something into your heart, or alert you for moments of ministry opportunities that are all around you. This is why Paul challenges us in Romans 12:2 to continually renew our minds; to never remove our spiritual ear-buds so that we are always dialed-in to what God wants us to hear.

It’s amazing how when you begin to get serious with God about wanting to be used, and approach each day with this desire, how God will take you up on the offer. I started this week by praying this simple prayer. “God, show me someone I need to love this week.” I wrote this prayer on a stickie and placed it on my desk.  I began the week wondering who (and if) God would show me that I need to engage.  Well, I wonder no more.  I had lunch Monday with a friend who needed a little encouragement about his business.  Monday night I prayed over the phone with a friend and his wife, both of whom I barely know, about their health and job.  Tuesday I spoke with a friend who is going through a divorce and just needed someone who would listen.  And, this morning I spoke with an employee at Panera that sat down next to me and started sharing with me about her life.  In each of these situations, I did not say or do anything supernatural.  I was just there, available, listening, and loving. It has been amazing how my one prayer, “show me someone to love” has so impacted my life this week…and the lives of others.  And, it’s just Wednesday!

All of this loving on others happened because I began my week giving God the invitation to renew my mind and show me moments of opportunities to be Jesus to my world.  Will you consider doing the same?

Make it your ambition NOT to conform to the lie that you just don’t have enough time.  Instead, pray asking God to renew you to His plan for the day. If you do, get ready! God doesn’t play around.  If you ask, He will provide the moments, the people, and the exact time you need to love another.

Fatigue.  Uncertainty.  Frustration. Restlessness.  Are any of these words too familiar to you?  Such words can be the catalyst to complacency. I’ve counseled with many who reach a point in their lives where they aren’t happy with how things are going and they begin to come to a place of giving up, letting go, and buying into the lie that things will never change.

One teen recently wrote me to say, “My life sucks.  Nothing is going right….and God seem so far away.  I’m beginning to question if it really matters if I give God time in my life.” What he was really saying was, “Things aren’t going the way I want.  God isn’t acting the way I want Him to.  So why try anymore?”  What a dangerous place in which to be.

Disappointment and uncertainty are two close companions that love to show up unexpected, crash a party, and leave behind a mess of mixed emotions, doubt, and fear. I know these two companions all too well.  I am the first to admit that I too often allow the circumstances of my life to shape my emotions in any given moment.  (Just ask those closest to me – they will quickly confirm this.)

I’ve learned (and am still learning) that when these feelings begin to slip in, I have to motivate myself to action! God is working on my heart to remind me that, as the Word says, His ways are not my ways.  Simply put, He doesn’t move and think and act as I always want Him to or expect that He will. He is God and I am not going to always be able to rationalize, make sense of, or even fully agree with all He does – or chooses not to do – in and with my life.

The key here is trust.  I often ask myself, “Do I genuinely trust God?”  My answer is, “Yes. I do trust Him.”  I then remind myself that trust doesn’t always mean understanding.  This is why Proverbs 3:5 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” Lately I am reminded of the truth in this verse that trusting God is exactly about that one word: trust.  It doesn’t always make sense.  It won’t necessarily always add up.  It will not guarantee worldly success.  And, it often requires a willingness to be led into places that are difficult and dangerous.  (Think about the story of Jonah.  He was asked by God to go and share the gospel message with people who hated Christians and enjoyed killing them, peeling the skin of their faces, and hanging their skulls around town on poles.)

Life with God isn’t about complacency.  It is about the greatest of adventures.  He understands there will be times when we question Him.  He welcomes the questions.  He also desires we move past the questions to a place of trust, even when we don’t understand or receive the answers we pursue.

Destiny was at Springhill and she sent me her Top 10 List. I challenged the girls to make a list of the characteristics they hope to one day find in a future spouse.  Check this out ladies and remember, no guy is ever worth a compromise of your “beauty.”
My top 10 Characteristics in a guy are…
1. Has a Sense of humor
2. Some kind of religion
3. A love of music
4. Trustworthy
5. Nice
6. Kind to others
7. Respectful of others
8. Animal Lover
9. Family orientated
10. A sports person

I had an awesome time at Spring hill and I learned a lot about God, and myself. Thank you.

The more time I spend on the road counseling with teens, the more I am convinced that many have a minimal knowledge of God’s Word.  How unfortunate this is.  If you don’t know it, you can never live it.  And, if you are a Christ-follower, yet have very little knowledge of what His Word says, then what does this lack of knowledge have to say about your commitment to Him and love for Him?  Think about it – if you knew very little about your best friend, wouldn’t that be proof that you care very little about your best friend?

If you have heard me speak at an event before, then you probably remember me challenging you with this statement:

It’s impossible to consistently know and do God’s will if you don’t spend time with Him.

I believe this statement to be true as much as I believe that Coke is better Pepsi!  The Bible is a guide for our lives that God has given us.  Look at what  Psalm 119:104-105 says:

I gain understanding from your precepts…Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

Psalm 119 makes it clear that by spending time in the Word, we’ll gain understanding. As you commit to spend time in the Word, you’ll develop a greater understanding of who He is.  As you begin to know Him more, He’ll reveal to you a greater understanding of His plan and purpose for your life.

You have also probably heard me talk about  THE 1:1:1 PLAN.

THE 1:1:1 PLAN = One passage of Scripture + Once a Day + One Week

Repetition is key.  There are times when I read the Bible and then forget what I read as soon as I walk away.  Going back and reading the same verse over will help you absorb the truth of Scripture.  And, as Psalm 119:9 says, this is the way to live a life that honors God:

How can a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the map of your Word. Psalm 119:9 (MSG)

Here are a few creative applications for spending time in the Word:

1. Grab your Bible, journal, and find your favorite quite spot—a park, backyard, or the lake.
2. Go to Starbucks for some Bible and bean time.
3. Get a few friends together and instead of watching a movie or talking about girls/guys, start a conversation about a scripture you’ve been reading and encourage each other to spend more time in the Word.
4. Start a Bible Club at your school.  Commit to meet once a week to dive into the Word and pray together.

I also have included a list of questions that I think are really important to consider when you are reading the Bible.

1.    Who is the author of the passage?

2.    Who were the recipients?

3.    What is the historical background of the passage?

4.    What is the outline/structure of the passage?

5.    Are any words repeated? Any significance to the repetition?

6.    Are there any unusual words in the passage that call for more exploration?

7.    How does the passage fit into the surrounding paragraph? Chapter? Book?

8.    Why did the author place the passage here and not somewhere else?

9.    In one sentence, what is the main point of the passage?

10.  How would the original audience have been affected by the passage?

11.  How does this passage connect to the overall storyline of the Bible?

12.  How does this passage reveal Jesus as savior?

13.  How does God want this passage to function in my life?

14.  What kind of response does this passage call for?

In two of my teen books, Watch This and This Is Me, I talk about the importance of involving God in every aspect of your life, including your dating life.  Lately many of you have been asking me some pretty heavy questions about dating – I want to make several observations.

First, you need to know that God wants to be involved in your dating life, and it’s unlikely you’ll ever really find satisfaction in dating if you don’t let Him be.  To become the person God desires you be means allowing Him access into every area of your life.  This includes your dating life too!  But honoring God in your dating life has to be a priority for you.  I have so much to say on this topic.  (If you want to really know all my thoughts on dating, grab a copy of one of my books.)  I do want to address one question that lately I have been asked frequently.  The question:

“Is it okay to date someone who is not a Christian?”

My answer to this question is more questions:

1. Would you want to marry someone who doesn’t believe there’s a heaven, hell, or God?

2. Would you want to marry someone who wouldn’t embrace reading the Bible, going to church, and praying?

3. Would you want to marry someone who wouldn’t instill in your children godly character and the practices of praying, going to church, and reading the Bible?

Get my point. I hope the answer to each of these questions would be a definite no from you.  If this is the case, then why would you choose to date someone who wouldn’t do these things? I’m not saying you have to think you’re going to marry every person you go out with. But any person you date should be “marriage-worthy.” And the first question on the marriage-worthy test should always be: Is this person a Christian?

Look at what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (MSG):

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives.

This verse is saying that when you choose to unite with a nonbeliever, it’s as if you’re setting up a pagan idol in God’s temple. That’s pretty serious stuff. I mean, God warns us against making idols and worshipping other gods in the Ten Commandments. In this case, opposites do not attract.

I know what you may be thinking: But what if you could convince someone to become a Christian after you start dating? I mean, if she/he really likes you, she’ll/he’ll want to go to church with you and stuff, right?

Dating a non-Christian may seem innocent. You may think that after a while you’ll “win her/him over” or that it’s just dating, not marriage, so it doesn’t matter.  But this verse warns that you’re walking on dangerous ground when you choose to unite (even just for a few dates) with “those who reject God.” You may think you can turn her/him into a Christian, but it’s more likely that she’ll/he’ll pull you away from Christ. People don’t change just because you want them to. They only change if they want to.

So the simple is – talk to the person about Christ. Invite her/him to your youth group. But don’t even think about giving your heart to this person until she/he gives his heart to God.