I’ve getting super jazzed about Christmas – spending time with my girls and spending time hitting a lot of my favo restaurants in Nashville that I can’t always frequent throughout the year. (Of curse, it goes without saying that I love this time of year as we celebrate the reason for the season – the Christ child.) But Christmas time isn’t just about gifts, and food, and seeing relatives whose names you can’t recall because you haven’t seen them in almost a year. It’s also about being with your family. For some, this is the most special time of the year getting to spend quality time with loved ones. But maybe for you, the thought of spending the next few weeks with your parents may frustrate you more than some in India feel after Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter remarks highlighting her so-called goodwill trip to “rescue” children. (Google it if you don’t know.)
Look, everyone’s family smells at one time or another. Sometimes family life isn’t fun. Sometimes it’s unfair. Many families suffer through divorce, abuse, addictions, anger, and abandonment. Maybe your dad walked out on your family years ago. Or your mom cheated on your dad and no longer lives at home. Maybe one of your parents hits you. It could be that your parents put you up for adoption when you were born, and you’ve never even met them. You may have plenty of valid reasons to be hurt, upset, or even ticked off at a family member. And some problems are too big to be fixed simply by implementing my suggestions. But it may also be true that your anger, no matter how justifiable it seems, is keeping you from living a full, godly life. And, could be robbing you of joy, especially this time of year.
You’ll never have the answers to all the whys: Why did they leave me? Why didn’t they want me? Why do they hurt me? There can be so many. You can’t control what your parents have done or will do. But you can control how you choose to deal with it from this moment on.
Check out Colossians 3:13, which says, “Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you.”
If you’re dealing with a painful situation at home, remember: Your home life is no surprise to God. He knows exactly what you’re going through. And don’t forget: God never makes a mistake. He’s placed you in the family you’re in for a reason. It may seem like hell on Earth to you right now, having to deal with your family issues. But don’t give up—that’s what Satan wants you to do. He worked to destroy planet Earth’s first family, and he’ll work just as hard to destroy yours. Your situation may stink, but remember, everything is part of God’s great plan for you. Romans 8:28(NASB) says, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Lastly, remember this – parenting is a tough job. And your parents aren’t perfect. No one could do what they do flawlessly all the time. But your mom and dad are doing their best, and their best is probably a lot better than you realize. Have you ever stopped to consider how much your parents do for you? Without even realizing it, you most likely expect one or both of your parents to be a financial manager, housekeeper, personal shopper, launderer, chef, volunteer, medic, counselor, groundskeeper, chauffeur, and hander-outer of cash when you’re in need of a financial fix. As if all of that weren’t enough, they also have more than just you to worry about: your siblings, your grandparents, their jobs, the bills, the dog you promised you would feed but never actually did…it’s a long list. No parent could handle all this stuff perfectly, because no parent is perfect. And in case you’ve forgotten, you aren’t perfect either.
So if and when your parents make you a little angry this Christmas break, try to remember all the things they do right rather than the few times they fall a little short. I’m sure you’d like them to do the same for you, especially when you’re asking to stay out a few hours past curfew on New Year’s Eve!
