In two of my teen books, Watch This and This Is Me, I talk about the importance of involving God in every aspect of your life, including your dating life. Lately many of you have been asking me some pretty heavy questions about dating – I want to make several observations.
First, you need to know that God wants to be involved in your dating life, and it’s unlikely you’ll ever really find satisfaction in dating if you don’t let Him be. To become the person God desires you be means allowing Him access into every area of your life. This includes your dating life too! But honoring God in your dating life has to be a priority for you. I have so much to say on this topic. (If you want to really know all my thoughts on dating, grab a copy of one of my books.) I do want to address one question that lately I have been asked frequently. The question:
“Is it okay to date someone who is not a Christian?”
My answer to this question is more questions:
1. Would you want to marry someone who doesn’t believe there’s a heaven, hell, or God?
2. Would you want to marry someone who wouldn’t embrace reading the Bible, going to church, and praying?
3. Would you want to marry someone who wouldn’t instill in your children godly character and the practices of praying, going to church, and reading the Bible?
Get my point. I hope the answer to each of these questions would be a definite no from you. If this is the case, then why would you choose to date someone who wouldn’t do these things? I’m not saying you have to think you’re going to marry every person you go out with. But any person you date should be “marriage-worthy.” And the first question on the marriage-worthy test should always be: Is this person a Christian?
Look at what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (MSG):
Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives.
This verse is saying that when you choose to unite with a nonbeliever, it’s as if you’re setting up a pagan idol in God’s temple. That’s pretty serious stuff. I mean, God warns us against making idols and worshipping other gods in the Ten Commandments. In this case, opposites do not attract.
I know what you may be thinking: But what if you could convince someone to become a Christian after you start dating? I mean, if she/he really likes you, she’ll/he’ll want to go to church with you and stuff, right?
Dating a non-Christian may seem innocent. You may think that after a while you’ll “win her/him over” or that it’s just dating, not marriage, so it doesn’t matter. But this verse warns that you’re walking on dangerous ground when you choose to unite (even just for a few dates) with “those who reject God.” You may think you can turn her/him into a Christian, but it’s more likely that she’ll/he’ll pull you away from Christ. People don’t change just because you want them to. They only change if they want to.
So the simple is – talk to the person about Christ. Invite her/him to your youth group. But don’t even think about giving your heart to this person until she/he gives his heart to God.
