I just spoke tonight to parents at St. Joseph School in Sylvania, OH. It was awesome to see over 800 people attend! I talked about the challenges that we as parents face as it relates to communication with our kids. If you are a parent, then you may have experienced frustration when it comes to communication with your teen. In my book for parents, The Fight Of Your Life, one reoccurring theme I address is “time.” For the St. Joe’s parents, and for all parents, I want to remind you that your teen desires more time with you. He/she may never say this directly. But it is true. 17 years of ministry to teens proves this to me: Your teen wants (and needs) to be a priority in your life. Teens tell me this often.
If you heard me speak tonight, in the past, or have read any of my writings, then you probably know that I am a big advocate for what I call “Man Moments” and “Daughter Dates.” Setting aside one night a month to spend a few hours on a “date” with your teen can produce the most richest of memories for you both. Here are a few questions for dinner conversation that just might help you connect with your teens heart the next time the two of you spend an evening on the town together:
* What do you love for us to do together?
* What is your favo movie or TV show for us to watch together?
* When do you remember that we laughed really hard together?
* What is your favo game?
* Tell me three things about our family that you love?
* Tell me one thing that you wish we could improve about our relationship.
* How are we most alike?
* What do enjoy doing when it is just you and me?
* What scares you most about life?
* When and where do you feel most safe?
* If you could ask God one question, what would it be?
* What confuses you the most about the Bible?
* What makes you feel loved the most?
* Who do you dream about becoming?
The list could go on and on…the important thing is not so much that you ask these questions. Rather, that you make the effort to initiate conversation. Initially it may not go exactly as you desire, especially if either or both of you have made less than perfect efforts in the past to talk. So, take it slow, make it comfortable, and commit now to give time a chance with your teen…before time runs out on the teen years.
